


How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Relationship

by Hell joe (Claire_Dimlight)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU setting where Yuuri doesn't know anything about figure skating, Beware of Yurio's potty mouth, Fluff and Crack, He doesn't fanboy Victor either, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9365999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claire_Dimlight/pseuds/Hell%20joe
Summary: Once again, Yuri wonders why his life so hard.*) Or an AU where Victor experiences his first love and makes Yuri suffer through it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'd

Yuri Plisetsky found his cheek colliding flat with car’s door and almost died with a heart attack as the vehicle maneuvered 90° degree to a stop. His mouth exploded into a train of curses. Before he could ask what the hell was happening, the crazy bastard, Victor Nikivorof, had already bolted out from the car.

Victor half ran half dragged himself towards a cafe nearby. His shin hurt like hell. He already envisioned his coach would not be happy about this. At all. But he could care less. All his attention sucked into a single spot, or precisely, a single person. And everything went to a slow

m

o

t

i

o

n.

to his eyes, at least.

On the other side of the panel glass window, Victor saw a goddess in human clothing.

By the time Yuri stood beside him the younger skater had an ominous feeling when he saw Victor had a hand on his chest. He glared at the older male and asked what happened but Victor was still busy in his own world. Yuri followed Victor’s line of gaze yet it only left him more confused. He saw nothing inside. Nothing was extraordinary. The cafe had decent interior, somehow rustic and vintage at the same time but it was totally common. Maybe..., the scent? Yuri sniffed. The air was full with pleasant smell of fresh baked bread and flowers. He shifted his gaze, the sign read ‘We are open now! Welcome to Yu-topia’.

Fortunately, a worker with glasses who was cleaning the tables spotted the two. He shifted his glasses and craned his neck over his shoulder, scanning the area and probably trying to figure out what the strangers been ogling at. And from his expression, Yuri knew he found none.

Finally, the boy approached them.

“May I help you?”

His light brown eyes reminded Yuri of molten honey and his smile a pale crescent moon. The boy wore black apron, tied neatly around his waist. He clasped his hands together, ready to give them his full attention. A small gasp next to him was the only warning Yuri received before Victor’s mouth ruined the moment.

“Would you love to have a date with me?”

Yuri’s jaw got slack. He eyed the older male as if he had grown a second head. He snapped his attention back to the bespectacled boy. The young worker spared no better. Yuri conflicted between laughing or feeling sympathy on him because the poor boy, instead being courted, he looked like his life had descended into death.

“P-Pardon? Sir, I think I misheard something?”

“No, no, no, it’s okay. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have made it sound too pushy. I mean,” Yuri couldn’t help but sneer at Victor’s idiocy and his erratic, flailing hands, “please tell me when you’re free. I’ll give you my contact. I would love to know you much deeper because, oh my God, you’re totally my type!”

The boy, if anything, was at lost of something to say. Even a proper rejection seemed to stuck somewhere on his throat. After a long, stretched silence, the boy took a step backwards.

Then another, and another, and in a blink of eye he already inside and hid himself behind the counter.

_Ouch._

But Yuri knew Victor deserved that.

Before Victor did something more stupid, he dragged the silver haired man away. (Yuri would be more than happy seeing Victor embarrassing himself in public but unfortunately he was not as heartless as people claimed him to be). There must be at least one person for taking damage-control role after all.

If Yuri thought it was only like those times when Victor had weird whims that would gradually disappear and he would go back to his normal self at the end, oh how wrong he was.

* * *

 

Victor Nikiforof was known as a lot of many things.

A lot of people would describe him a living legend for winning five consecutive World Championships, five straight Grand Prix Finals, and numerous European championships. A perfectionist crazy on being able to surprise people. Some would tell he was adorable. Fluff ball of sunshine. Would paint himself in pink given the chance. Had a disease that made him going mad had he not touching other living body within an hour. Probably spending half of 24 laughing his ass out everyday. Will die one day by damaging his laugh box.

To Yuri he was nothing but a total jerk.

Conclusion: if you’re a person with low endurance towards touchy person, stay away. If you’re sensitive towards continuous, loud voice, stay. away.

Anyway, today’s topic, _our legend_ Victor apparently was madly in love.

And it was just found out today after practice, September twenty second Sunday twenty five after nine—was it a song? No?—Victor in love was more useless Victor. Even at practice, he had been nothing but pain in the ass. He had been ignoring. All he did was stood dazedly against the boards with his stupid smile Yuri wanted to rip off. Did he really think he could get away with his injured leg as an excuse?

(Injured leg his ass, it was not that bad. It didn’t even fool anyone. It didn’t make any sense in the first place with his crappy reason—injured for the sake of love. Fuck)

It was given. Or said Mila, one of Yuri and Victor’s fellow rink mate—or an old hag, ice witch, whatever, Yuri had his own vocabulary and it no one’s business. She said people in love had their own world. A very happy, bright world. With angels and unicorns. He told her it was stupid. Because angels didn’t exist. Even if they did, no one supposed meet them before death.

So Victor was as good as dead? Fucking yes! Then was it good news or bad? Super bad! Why? Because Victor fucking Nikiforov had pROMISED HIM TO CHOREOGRAPH HIS SENIOR DEBUT PROGRAM BUT HE APPARENTLY OUT OF HIS MIND AND KEPT AVOID THE MATTER FOR THE SAKE TO SCREW HIS CERTAIN IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND IN HIS HEAD!!

Ahem.

Well, Yuri needed Victor in one piece and function as a proper human. He needed perfect program to win the gold from the legend Victor Nikiforov. Not from a half undead with disgusting pink aura around him. Yuri would launch #DestroyVictorsLove2k17 campaign and ready to be a lone wolf on front line. Bye Misery. Hi New Goal.

So the day after, during lunch break, Yuri back to Yu-topia. He disguised himself. Sunglasses, mask, and black leather with leopard-print jacket, all on. Be a normal customer. As inconspicuous as possible. Piece of cake. He was taking his role seriously, even doing as far as ordering warm delicious katsudon pirozhki on his plate (one of the most popular, apparently) and a milkshake—all for totality, not because he was hungry and found out that the taste super delicious.

Witness, dear commoners, the great Yuri Plisetsky knew how to be civil and not always kick people on their shin to solve problem.

So here the plan, when Victor came to visit, embarrass him without being found out to the point the boy with glasses would only look at him in disgust for the rest of his life. Victor would back to skating to work himself out from broken heart and Yuri got his program. Happy ending.

Except, Yuri chose a wrong day.

Victor didn’t show up. Even the boy with glasses was nowhere in sight. He waited patiently until the break ended. Twenty minutes later he was back to practice with disappointment.

The next day Yuri tried again, but still fruitless.

The next after the next day still the same.

The next after the next next day nothing changed.

Pissed, Yuri called a waitress. Her tag read ‘Yuuko’.

“Where is your comrade with glasses?”

The woman look confused. “Uh, do you mean Yuuri Katsuki?”

It struck Yuri a moment how they shared similar name. Scowling, Yuri nodded his head.

“So long this Yuuri Katsuki is piggy-like and has dorky glasses, yes that would be him.”

“Ahaha. That matched him. Well first, he is not a worker here. He’s the son’s owner. And second, he is not here. He’s been hanging out with this handsome silver-haired man—

Yuri slapped the table hard, making the poor woman yelped in surprise, drawing attention to him.

“—Are you fucking kidding me?!”

A worker with slightly bulky body looked at them curiously. Before he attempted to ask what was wrong (or rip Yuri into pieces since he had _that_ scary face), Yuri demanded, “Where are they now?”

“...I don’t know,” the woman answered, “They could be anywhere.”

“Shiiiittt!!!”

Yuri bolted out.

* * *

 

Victor Nikiforof was known as a lot of many things.

Apparently he was stealthy.

When Yuri thought he had two steps ahead up his sleeve, Victor already twice further (Wasn’t he too fast? What about the boy, Yuuri, he dated?—somehow Yuri could only sympathy with this Yuuri, a no one yet already too familiar in these past days. Being a victim himself almost on everyday basis, he knew how Victor could be too pushy. Yuri prayed the safety of this familiar stranger, mind especially, after the two break up.)

Yuri decided one day that there had clearly not been enough destruction in Victor’s life so he planned one. Besides, it gave him excuse not to do practice. He opened a new tab on his laptop and tapped ‘How to ruin good relationship’. Bless (emo) G**gle to make his life so easy.

That night, people wonder why their babies couldn’t stop crying for the entire night.

**Author's Note:**

> Short is short. By the way, yes that was a song, 'The Day You Went Away © M2M, all rights reserved'. Thanks for reading. Stay tune for Yurio's attempt to ruin Victor's life on next chapter. See you~


End file.
